Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
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I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.