He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....