Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
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I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.