ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
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My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
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My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT