Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?