It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Send us your Text From Last Night!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.