no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
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I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
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Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?