You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born