I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
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he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with