sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you thought your balls were fighting each other...