He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
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Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.