is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.