i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them