people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy