Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Send us your Text From Last Night!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.