How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My breath smells like gin and sadness
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?