i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Someone came in the potted fern
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
