He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Send us your Text From Last Night!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..