I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome