the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.