Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.