she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse