Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
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I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.