you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.