She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
where are my eyebrows?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.