how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?