do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
