He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Good Food, Cheap Beer, and Hot Singles: the Top 13 Cities for Millennials