I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila