I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it