I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Send us your Text From Last Night!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation