He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives