I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..