Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
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She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.