Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Send us your Text From Last Night!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.