plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
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haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
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Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
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I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.