She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
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Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.