If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you