He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
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Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.