He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
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In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
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for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
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the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.