Texts From Last Night

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(703): View more from Virginia

you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.

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(703): you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still. http://tfl.nu/6jjh

Replies (23) Good night (5324) Bad night (925)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.

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(519): Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins. http://tfl.nu/y67p

Replies (41) Good night (5056) Bad night (656)
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(516): View more from New York

my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?

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(516): my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/m93n

Replies (110) Good night (33829) Bad night (1470)
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(301): View more from Maryland

soooo we both peed the bed last night...

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(301): soooo we both peed the bed last night... http://tfl.nu/xqno

Replies (30) Good night (1049) Bad night (7162)
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(949): View more from California

this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head

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(949): this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head http://tfl.nu/73zt

Replies (48) Good night (1445) Bad night (7596)
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(937): View more from Ohio

You went to church with your boobs hanging out?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.

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(937): You went to church with your boobs hanging out? (978): Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well. http://tfl.nu/nomt

Replies (22) Good night (7020) Bad night (1207)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!

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(937): Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon! http://tfl.nu/1aph

Replies (92) Good night (13837) Bad night (1672)
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(513): View more from Ohio

twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library

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(513): twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library http://tfl.nu/04eo

Replies (22) Good night (5402) Bad night (789)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man

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(215): we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man http://tfl.nu/tkk9

Replies (29) Good night (9003) Bad night (1260)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies

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(208): I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies http://tfl.nu/u66b

Replies (25) Good night (8045) Bad night (681)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.

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(732): I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something. http://tfl.nu/rxn8

Replies (22) Good night (4177) Bad night (1551)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou

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(978): he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou http://tfl.nu/bfpm

Replies (25) Good night (4717) Bad night (891)
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(815): View more from Illinois

it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her

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(815): it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her http://tfl.nu/ai8t

Replies (13) Good night (1378) Bad night (5609)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?

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(502): Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here? http://tfl.nu/rbfc

Replies (26) Good night (9077) Bad night (796)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt

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(708): I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt http://tfl.nu/chxg

Replies (33) Good night (1314) Bad night (3403)

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