Texts From Last Night

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(404): View more from Georgia

on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.

(1-404): View more from Georgia

i can respect that.

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(404): on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you. (1-404): i can respect that. http://tfl.nu/fvjd

Replies (14) Good night (5007) Bad night (851)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.

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(864): I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me. http://tfl.nu/y5s2

Replies (30) Good night (5935) Bad night (1273)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.

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(303): I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number. http://tfl.nu/465z

Replies (31) Good night (15863) Bad night (1060)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.

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(706): I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song. (1-706): I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina. http://tfl.nu/b2qf

Replies (81) Good night (2904) Bad night (6327)
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(850): View more from Florida

We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.

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(850): We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you. http://tfl.nu/tn9h

Replies (18) Good night (8305) Bad night (1447)
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(562): View more from California

We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.

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(562): We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went. http://tfl.nu/2aw8

Replies (25) Good night (5458) Bad night (1364)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again

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(662): you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again http://tfl.nu/srv7

Replies (21) Good night (6560) Bad night (833)
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(586): View more from Michigan

You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?

(1-586): View more from Michigan

You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.

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(586): You do realize it's a Tuesday, right? (1-586): You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life. http://tfl.nu/em8w

Replies (22) Good night (8064) Bad night (903)
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(845): View more from New York

just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism

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(845): just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism http://tfl.nu/ktmw

Replies (15) Good night (5297) Bad night (798)
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(303): View more from Colorado

you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.

(303): View more from Colorado

and I must say, you were very persuasive

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(303): you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight. (303): and I must say, you were very persuasive http://tfl.nu/e18p

Replies (74) Good night (18640) Bad night (1168)
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(703): View more from Virginia

swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."

(202): View more from Washington, DC

buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.

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(703): swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back." (202): buy whatever she's on. a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/b6gr

Replies (34) Good night (16138) Bad night (1296)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.

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(307): Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again. http://tfl.nu/btf1

Replies (60) Good night (7534) Bad night (1371)
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(410): View more from Maryland

To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.

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(410): To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows. http://tfl.nu/3dnj

Replies (10) Good night (5763) Bad night (901)
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(630): View more from Illinois

last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.

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(630): last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone. http://tfl.nu/hjip

Replies (21) Good night (8518) Bad night (1068)
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(903): View more from Texas

Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I find this completely acceptable.

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(903): Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework? (321): I find this completely acceptable. http://tfl.nu/32xm

Replies (27) Good night (5669) Bad night (971)

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