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yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think my vagina is haunted
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wanna passion pit in your ass
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
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