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    (307): View more from Wyoming

    yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP

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    Replies (8) Good night (3038) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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    (906): View more from Michigan

    rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.

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    Replies (9) Good night (881) Bad night (3751) Order T-Shirt
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    (801): View more from Utah

    how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.

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    Replies (18) Good night (827) Bad night (2478)
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    (613): View more from Ontario

    I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.

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    Replies (37) Good night (25080) Bad night (818) Order T-Shirt
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    (602): View more from Arizona

    69 |D_O

    (1-602): View more from Arizona

    wtf does that mean??

    (602): View more from Arizona

    it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"

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    Replies (59) Good night (7241) Bad night (800)
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    (608): View more from Wisconsin

    I think my vagina is haunted

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    Replies (26) Good night (755) Bad night (3121) Order T-Shirt
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    (954): View more from Florida

    youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party

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    Replies (7) Good night (2783) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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    (407): View more from Florida

    i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...

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    Replies (15) Good night (2751) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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    (386): View more from Florida

    I wanna passion pit in your ass

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    Replies (27) Good night (615) Bad night (1683) Order T-Shirt
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    (714): View more from California

    It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends

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    Replies (5) Good night (2412) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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    (310): View more from California

    I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work

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    Replies (21) Good night (580) Bad night (2809) Order T-Shirt
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    (212): View more from New York

    yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money

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    Replies (16) Good night (2148) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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    (845): View more from New York

    even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.

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    Replies (18) Good night (529) Bad night (2465) Order T-Shirt
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    (774): View more from Massachusetts

    i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

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    Replies (485) Good night (173068) Bad night (6899) Order T-Shirt
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    (610): View more from Pennsylvania

    yo im tryna cop a beej tonight

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    Replies (24) Good night (2548) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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