She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
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That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.