I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
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yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
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My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.