at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.