We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
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I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.