Texts From Last Night

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(+44): View more from England

if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed

(+44): View more from England

keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction

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(+44): if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed (+44): keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction http://tfl.nu/lbnu

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move

(617): View more from Massachusetts

that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame

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(508): dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move (617): that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame http://tfl.nu/79g6

Replies (15) Good night (6489) Bad night (603)
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(703): View more from Virginia

His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?

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(703): His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into? http://tfl.nu/n657

Replies (32) Good night (773) Bad night (3815) Order T-Shirt
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(856): View more from New Jersey

i think my mom watched the whole time

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(856): i think my mom watched the whole time http://tfl.nu/ceac

Replies (5) Good night (545) Bad night (4450) Order T-Shirt
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(409): View more from Texas

i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.

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(409): i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24. http://tfl.nu/ryw9

Replies (40) Good night (924) Bad night (3871) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?

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(817): I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf? http://tfl.nu/ht45

Replies (15) Good night (3960) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
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(778): View more from British Columbia

I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now

(604): View more from British Columbia

That's weird, I usually just count sheep

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(778): I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now (604): That's weird, I usually just count sheep http://tfl.nu/h1kv

Replies (14) Good night (951) Bad night (3244)
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(325): View more from Texas

wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"

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(325): wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah" http://tfl.nu/d8s5

Replies (100) Good night (6999) Bad night (60215) Order T-Shirt
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(616): View more from Michigan

His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"

(616): View more from Michigan

He did it well too

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(616): His pickup line was "I'll eat you out" (616): He did it well too http://tfl.nu/h6lm

Replies (57) Good night (8731) Bad night (609)
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(248): View more from Michigan

apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference

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(248): apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference http://tfl.nu/k6zm

Replies (33) Good night (6562) Bad night (1195) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.

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(512): Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out. http://tfl.nu/0209

Replies (32) Good night (576) Bad night (4276) Order T-Shirt
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck

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(780): Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck http://tfl.nu/npsc

Replies (13) Good night (2087) Bad night (574) Order T-Shirt
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(828): View more from North Carolina

All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.

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(828): All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU. http://tfl.nu/f6ai

Replies (33) Good night (3118) Bad night (1340) Order T-Shirt
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(443): View more from Maryland

party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there

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(443): party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there http://tfl.nu/5lco

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(458): View more from Oregon

So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...

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(458): So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins... http://tfl.nu/wa72

Replies (53) Good night (1102) Bad night (5779)

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