Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?