Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
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In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
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It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
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My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.