"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.