This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
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she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
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He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
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I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.