I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.