Texts From Last Night

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(925): View more from California

At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way

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(585): View more from New York

ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.

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(347): View more from New York

When are you not under some influence?

(917): View more from New York City

Since last Tuesday...yesterday.

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(620): View more from Kansas

Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
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(208): View more from Idaho

He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.

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(775): View more from Nevada

He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?

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