Texts From Last Night

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(704): View more from North Carolina

My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college

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(704): My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college http://tfl.nu/somi

Replies (79) Good night (1748) Bad night (3664)
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(765): View more from Indiana

You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged

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(765): You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged http://tfl.nu/je5z

Replies (8) Good night (1020) Bad night (3528)
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(972): View more from Texas

So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.

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(972): So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office. http://tfl.nu/rm9r

Replies (45) Good night (1486) Bad night (5813)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.

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(913): I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like. http://tfl.nu/zoxi

Replies (18) Good night (928) Bad night (5168)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.

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(413): You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant. http://tfl.nu/uoqp

Replies (49) Good night (1407) Bad night (5009)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.

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(814): I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester. http://tfl.nu/p4o8

Replies (29) Good night (4749) Bad night (695)
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(817): View more from Texas

this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real

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(817): this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real http://tfl.nu/fl2e

Replies (63) Good night (6234) Bad night (867)
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(785): View more from Kansas

This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday

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(785): This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday http://tfl.nu/tvj7

Replies (23) Good night (5945) Bad night (773)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air

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(952): You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air http://tfl.nu/002i

Replies (6) Good night (1288) Bad night (3933)
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(585): View more from New York

Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone

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(585): Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone http://tfl.nu/rrl6

Replies (3) Good night (4149) Bad night (842)
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(281): View more from Texas

Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.

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(281): Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit. http://tfl.nu/j2fi

Replies (27) Good night (1448) Bad night (4125)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!

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(612): My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome! http://tfl.nu/2tqo

Replies (79) Good night (17996) Bad night (935)
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(510): View more from California

I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.

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(510): I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend. http://tfl.nu/lprg

Replies (10) Good night (5681) Bad night (635)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.

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(616): I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon. http://tfl.nu/lqe8

Replies (29) Good night (1181) Bad night (4006)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.

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(952): Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage. http://tfl.nu/guje

Replies (15) Good night (936) Bad night (4157)

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