When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.