apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
