I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.