He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.