Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.