I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.