Texts From Last Night

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(812): View more from Indiana

If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.

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(812): If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message. http://tfl.nu/nzcw

Replies (31) Good night (5362) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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(740): View more from Ohio

I think I took your hangover as a birthday present

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(740): I think I took your hangover as a birthday present http://tfl.nu/q2lj

Replies (5) Good night (1882) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed

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(314): Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed http://tfl.nu/ltzi

Replies (33) Good night (756) Bad night (2633) Order T-Shirt
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(905): View more from Toronto

Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich

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(905): Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich http://tfl.nu/gjvv

Replies (107) Good night (811) Bad night (14682) Order T-Shirt
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(661): View more from California

Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.

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(661): Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better. http://tfl.nu/n2tz

Replies (6) Good night (2275) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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(440): View more from Ohio

just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.

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(440): just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy. http://tfl.nu/sv1q

Replies (15) Good night (845) Bad night (2207)
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(770): View more from Georgia

If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.

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(770): If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day. http://tfl.nu/zol0

Replies (37) Good night (3903) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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(801): View more from Utah

We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."

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(801): We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move." http://tfl.nu/deqa

Replies (33) Good night (4384) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...

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(405): I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ... http://tfl.nu/68st

Replies (16) Good night (3112) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs

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(314): I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs http://tfl.nu/syr9

Replies (12) Good night (2438) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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(646): View more from New York

so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"

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(646): so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper" http://tfl.nu/y6hx

Replies (9) Good night (615) Bad night (2291) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from England

why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??

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(+44): why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star?? http://tfl.nu/ikzh

Replies (13) Good night (909) Bad night (3043) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.

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(815): My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY. http://tfl.nu/imc8

Replies (14) Good night (622) Bad night (3018) Order T-Shirt
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(925): View more from California

You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.

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(925): You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar. http://tfl.nu/e1r5

Replies (7) Good night (470) Bad night (2010) Order T-Shirt
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to

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(267): If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to http://tfl.nu/tvy7

Replies (59) Good night (4777) Bad night (1091)

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