I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.