We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
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If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
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Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
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dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.