I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.