Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
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There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
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I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
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Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.