I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.