Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Follow @tfln