Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.