Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate