its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
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That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed