Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We just shotgunned beers for America
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.