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the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
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