I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.