It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..