Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.