Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
