You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?