No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS