I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize