Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.