Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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I have post one night stand depression
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...