Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
