Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm going to blackout. I realize this