I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
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I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
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He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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