words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?