I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”