Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.