Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Send us your Text From Last Night!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?