Texts From Last Night

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work

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(412): the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work http://tfl.nu/2wj1

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(309): View more from Illinois

Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures

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(309): Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures http://tfl.nu/7kml

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(208): View more from Idaho

dont eat that thats our sex nutella.

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(208): dont eat that thats our sex nutella. http://tfl.nu/y04n

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.

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(902): I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability. http://tfl.nu/xk8u

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(770): View more from Georgia

You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.

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(770): You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of. http://tfl.nu/9xxo

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"

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(910): I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!" http://tfl.nu/ji9a

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(301): View more from Maryland

A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.

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(301): A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it. http://tfl.nu/f0y3

Replies (2) Good night (272) Bad night (62)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.

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(860): Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on. http://tfl.nu/xowf

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(860): View more from Connecticut

The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.

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(860): The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/fj2u

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(813): View more from Florida

Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.

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(813): Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line. http://tfl.nu/x7j1

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now

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(215): Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now http://tfl.nu/6dgv

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(941): View more from Florida

When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.

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(941): When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel. http://tfl.nu/2hjl

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(919): View more from North Carolina

what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

An artistic expression of her stupidity.

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(919): what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding? (1-919): An artistic expression of her stupidity. http://tfl.nu/majp

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(775): View more from Nevada

When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home

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(775): When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home http://tfl.nu/5cvq

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(425): View more from Washington

Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero

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(425): Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero http://tfl.nu/rxr0

Replies (3) Good night (352) Bad night (62) Order T-Shirt

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