I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.