Texts From Last Night

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(905): View more from Ontario

heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain

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(905): heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain http://tfl.nu/cvqd

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(303): View more from Colorado

who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make

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(303): who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make http://tfl.nu/gmr8

Replies (8) Good night (242) Bad night (18)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.

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(843): Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17. http://tfl.nu/5ely

Replies (17) Good night (488) Bad night (19)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.

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(907): I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night. http://tfl.nu/j04h

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.

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(605): I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry. http://tfl.nu/w271

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(803): View more from South Carolina

so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.

(843): View more from South Carolina

drunk me is so punny.

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(803): so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life. (843): drunk me is so punny. http://tfl.nu/qdzv

Replies (6) Good night (503) Bad night (36)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.

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(678): I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice. http://tfl.nu/ukpc

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(337): View more from Louisiana

My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.

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(337): My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night. http://tfl.nu/n564

Replies (9) Good night (612) Bad night (35) Order T-Shirt
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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.

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(913): I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America. http://tfl.nu/aex4

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"

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(267): I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" http://tfl.nu/lcyo

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.

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(609): Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night. http://tfl.nu/lzo0

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(516): View more from New York

The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.

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(516): The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving. http://tfl.nu/b59v

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(248): View more from Michigan

My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.

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(248): My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend. http://tfl.nu/02a8

Replies (13) Good night (1091) Bad night (36) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.

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(815): I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed. http://tfl.nu/ikx6

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow

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(860): i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow http://tfl.nu/61vx

Replies (36) Good night (51) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt

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