COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Send us your Text From Last Night!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.