Texts From Last Night

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(303): View more from Colorado

so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...

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(303): so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob... http://tfl.nu/tixa

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(574): View more from Indiana

almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea

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(574): almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea http://tfl.nu/8a1h

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night

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(412): My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night http://tfl.nu/pds9

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(856): View more from New Jersey

When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.

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(856): When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again. http://tfl.nu/chm7

Replies (4) Good night (23) Bad night (134) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?

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(508): Why did you put hummus in my pillow case? http://tfl.nu/0gk1

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(816): View more from Missouri

So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.

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(816): So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me. http://tfl.nu/bb44

Replies (10) Good night (65) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.

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(513): I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand. http://tfl.nu/20vi

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?

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(704): Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane? http://tfl.nu/zikg

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(801): View more from Utah

What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."

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(801): What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director." http://tfl.nu/kql1

Replies (3) Good night (39) Bad night (277)
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(705): View more from Ontario

APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...

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(705): APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk... http://tfl.nu/biv4

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.

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(201): He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away. http://tfl.nu/tzcp

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.

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(774): It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness. http://tfl.nu/e7ic

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(513): View more from Ohio

You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.

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(513): You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm. http://tfl.nu/60sn

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(727): View more from Florida

His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.

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(727): His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there. http://tfl.nu/9vdb

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(662): View more from Mississippi

It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though

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(662): It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though http://tfl.nu/50vd

Replies (4) Good night (439) Bad night (72) Order T-Shirt

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