Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.