I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.