I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about