I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
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I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.